He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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