I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We are two peas in an std pod
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
