o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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