At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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