I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
