: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
