Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
my poor anus
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
