Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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