You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
