Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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