If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
