At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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