I smell stomach acid.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
