He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
