Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
