Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
