If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
