My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
