I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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