batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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