So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
