Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
