Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
