I bet he comes in French.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
