honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
