You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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