Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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