I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
