1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
