I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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