Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
