A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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