I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
