so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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