My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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