He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
