Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
