the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
