did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
