We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
