Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
