Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
