new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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