6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
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