omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
