it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
