My nipple is on Facebook.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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