I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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