You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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