All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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