do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
did i walk over a car last night?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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