where does the pee come out of this thing
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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