I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
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how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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