Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
