if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
