I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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