Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
And then the night went full on bisexual.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
