I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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