I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
