I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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