i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
