I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
