I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
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operation harelip BJ is a go
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.